Forever & Always
by KickBoxingBabe94
Summary: Edward is 18 with a dark past, shutting himself off from feeling, and likes to be alone. But when he writes a message, to a girl to try help her through her dark time. He gets a lot more then he ever bargined for. Can they save one another? Rated M for swearing and future lemons. All Human.
1. Chapter 1

**Forever and Always**

The dull buzz of the lift moving up the floors, sums up my mood completely. It's a Monday morning, a college day and another boring day of my mundane life. As I reach my desired floor, the lift pings bringing me out of my day dream. I pull my swipe card out of my back pocket, and wave it in front of the sensor. Gaining me entry into the animal science hallway, and a view of my classmates. I drag my feet down the corridor, and sit down on the floor. They really should get chairs down here, the floor makes your ass go numb. I pull out my IPod and stick my headphones in, the latest gossip bores me. I find the song I'm looking for and put the volume up full. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall. How should I do it? How should I end my pathetic existence. I could jump of the top of college, earn everyone a day off. I smile at my humour, using my death to gain my classmates a day off. I open my eyes and scan my classmates faces. I had recently change back to animal care from public services. I was rejected from the forces, because of a back injury. So I still needed to remain in college to stay living with my parents. This was my second year on this course, I was one of very few continuing from last year. As I continued scanning down the line, my eyes stop on a pair of brown ones. She averts her eyes straight away, back down to her phone. I have no idea what her name is, but she's really stunning. Why haven't I noticed her before? Her hair falls perfectly around her face, her eyes are the same colour as milk chocolate. She's around 5'4, petite and a simple dress sense. She's fucking hot if you ask me. Before I can get caught starring our teacher comes rushing down the hallway.

The day continues without event, or anything exciting. I spend most of my lessons with my head against the table, trying to fall asleep. I just want to go home, and sit on my computer like I do most nights. Alone, talking to my friends online. Though I know once I am doing that, I'll be bored out of my skull. My life is exactly that, boring.

* * *

We are in our last lesson now, the only upside to Mondays. Our teacher is actually very funny, so the time goes faster. Just because I can't help myself I keep glances at the girl who's name I still don't know. My kind of friend is sat next to me, so I ask her.

"Hey, who's the girl with the grey hoodie on?" I whisper under my breath.

"That's Bella, she is super quiet. Doesn't talk to anyone, super shy." Alice whispers back

I take another look, she looks so sad. Maybe she is having a bad day, she must get lonely. Not talking to anyone, and sitting by herself. I suddenly feel really horrible for not noticing her sooner and maybe talking to her. But again, before I can think more into it. The lesson ends and everyone files out, and heads home.

* * *

Once home I turn on my computer and go to make coffee. I sit back down at my desk and open up all the usual tabs. I open up Facebook and scan down my feed. The usual shit is on here, song lyrics, girls complaining, and people talking about their kids. Out of curiosity I scan some of my class mates friends lists. Until I find the person I am looking for. Bella's page, I quickly click add. She accepts not long after, so I go on her page and look around. There is hardly anything on here, but I do notice something. Her banner is a picture of her and a guy. So she isn't single then? No surprise there, she is super cute. Maybe that is why she looked sad today. Boyfriend troubles, always the same drama for teenage girls. I come off her page and go onto Tumblr. I sit there for hours, scrolling, reclogging and liking pictures. Soon my friend Jasper comes online and we start talking. Jasper is my best friend, we can talk and piss about for hours. Soon it's 1am and I realise I have a paper due tomorrow. So once Jasper goes to bed, I try and writing my long ass essay. It 4am before I finish and I have to be up in two hours. I decide not to sleep but to make more coffee instead. Tomorrow is our short day, so I can sleep when I get home. The problem for me is free time, I sit and think too much. I sit and dwell on my past, present and future. How fucked up I am and how fucked up my life is. Before I realise it, I have seven burn marks on my shoulder. I hide the marks where no one will ever see them. I don't do that shit for attention. I wouldn't tell anyone about myself harming habits. That shit is far too personal for anyone to ever know. People these days would use stuff like that against me. They would point, call names and never understand. I know I am what they would call me, I don't need reminding.

I lay my clothes out for the day ahead, and pack my bag. Then I go and jump in the shower, placing my phone on the dock to fill the silence. The shower wakes me up a little, so atleast I wont look as dead as I feel. I wrap my towel round my waist and head back into my bedroom. I put on my usual atire, jeans, plain T-shirt, converse and my favourite jackdaniels jumper. I head downstairs, taking a huge gulp of milk earning an eye roll from my mum. I gather my bag, shove my phone in my pocket and grab my car keys. As I head out the door I am beyond tired, but I will just dose off in class. As I walk down the corridor the laughing erupts and I automatically still. Are they laughing at me? I look at the group of girls, trading a phone back and forth. I relax, they aren't laughing at me. I continue walking, and my eyes zero in on Bella. She is sitting with her knee's pulled up to her chest. Her head is resting on her knees and her eyes are closed. As she opens her eyes, she catches me looking at her. I avert my gaze immediately, and get my phone out instead. Same as every other day, I sit down on the hard floor. I get my headphones out, nod at Alice and get lost in my music.

The next thing I know is someone tapping my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Jessica and Lauren staring at me.

"Um Edward? Your music is really loud, would you mind turning it down?" Jessica says in her horribly navel voice.

"Sure, sorry" I pull my IPod out and turn it down, Looking at them for approval. Not that I give a shit in all honesty, I Just want them to get back to their bitchy conversation. Though much to my objections she carries on talking to me.

"So what you listening too?" She says while twirling her hair round her finger. I may be sick.

"I thought you said you could hear it?" I say in a sarcastic tone.

She starts laughing, placing her hand on my shoulder. I wince and jerk away from her touch. She stops laughing looking slightly embarrassed. Her face turns cold at once, and I know what's coming.

"I just wanted to know the name, so I never waste my time downloading it" She spits at me, then goes back to talking to her friends.

I shrug and go back to my music, turning it up to piss them off. I open my eyes, and this time Bella is staring at me. She has a smirk on her face, but looks away as soon as I catch her. It's time for class, so we all grab our bags and head inside. I can't help but smile, while I walk though. Why was she smiling at me? And why does that make me happy? I shake my head trying to dislodge the thoughts. I can't allow people to get close to me. People hurt you and leave you, only looking out for themselves. Yes I know, I have trust issues. But when you have treated and fucked around as much as I have. You would know my reasons why, I don't need anymore part time people.

The boring day continues and I feel like banging my head against the wall. Three lessons down, one to go. I never realised but I sit next to Bella in a lot of my classes. As the teacher hands out the work sheets for a test. Bella reaches forward to get the sheets and hand them to me. While she is reaching forward, her sleeve roles up and I see cuts. Cuts all along her wrist, continuing up her arm to where I can no longer see. I'm shocked, why would she self harm? Does she have a fucked up life too? I stare at her shocked as she pushes the papers my way. I take one and slide them down the line in a daze. What secrets did she have hidden away? Is she like me? Deep down so unhappy, she had to hurt herself to make the emotional pain go away? That's it, I decided I had to do something. When I get home I'll message her and try and help her...But what good can it do? You're not going to make all her problems go away. All your message will do is make you look like you're nosing your way into her business. Yea, but what if that message makes her feel less alone? I feel alone constantly, it would nice to have someone to relate too. But people hurt me...people lie and take what they need. Then they drop you like you're nothing, and walk away to their happy ending. But what if she was on the verge of killing herself? And your messaged stopped her? Surely even if she told you to fuck off...it's worth the risk of saving a life rite?

As the inner thoughts raged on, the lecture continued. I couldn't tell you what it was about, I wasn't listening. I was pretty sure I was going to fail college. I didn't care anymore. In the beginning, sure I wanted a career, a life, a girlfriend and all the shit people want these days. Now I just wanted an escape, escape from the misery that consumed me everyday...

The lesson ended and as everyone filed out to go home. I start to think what I would say to her, I dont come up with much.

* * *

The next thing I know I'm at my computer desk with a message window open. I couldn't tell you how I got home, or how long I've been staring at my screen for. All I know is everything was screaming at me to not message her. She will hurt you! Why would she talk to you? Freak.

I kick my thoughts aside, screw it. What's another little nudge to get my motivation up to kill myself rite? I start typing...

**Hey um,**

**This is going to seem really strange and I don't mean to come across a total stalker... Just, I feel really bad that you sit alone a lot at college. If that is by choice that's totally fine, but if it isn't... I just feel really bad? If you don't sit alone by choice, is there anything I could do to make you feel more included? I think this is totally crazy to type to you. Just if there was anything I could do, to help I would. If not? Tell me to fuck off.**

**Just wanted to get that off my chest.**

**Edward.**

I sit back and let out the breath I've been holding. I sit there, hoping I've made the right choice. I sit and wait for her response...


	2. Chapter 2

_I sit back and let out the breath I've been holding. I sit there, hoping I've made the right choice. I sit and wait for her response..._

I try to busy myself with everything but Facebook, it didn't work. I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't anxious for her response. I call Jasper and invite him round for a guys night. Maybe that's what I need, a step away from all these feelings. I'm starting to sound like a fucking girl, I need to man up. And not give a shit about if someone who is nothing to do with me. I didn't even know her name, until yesterday! Jasper said he will be here in thirty minutes. So I decide to go look for food, I'm starving and tired. Never a good combination, so at least I'll only be tired.

I poke my head in the fridge and find left over Chinese food, perfect. Grabbing a fork I stroll back to my bedroom and turn on my Xbox, getting out the games I know Jasper will want to play. And just because I can't help myself, I take a quick glance at my computer. I have two new messages, I open up my inbox.

I roll my eyes when I see who the first message if from. Tanya, some annoying chick who constantly messages me. She wants me and she is about as subtle as a gun. Constantly messaging me, asking to come over and 'hang out.' Sure, she was good at giving head, but I wasn't the relationship kind. But hey I'm a guy, and I have needs. So if it means I have to put up with Tanya, it was a price I had to pay.

I ignore her message and keep scrolling. My heart stops when I see I have a response from Bella. I open the message and start reading.

**Hey, don't worry I would never tell you do fuck off. And you don't seem strange or a weirdo. It's actually rather sweet, of you to message me. I sit alone by choice though, I don't like getting close to people. You shouldn't feel bad at all, it's my fault I am the way I am. But I do really appreciate your concern. Most people are too absorbed in their own life, to see people like me. **

**Thank you though, Edward.**

**Bella x**

I breathe a sigh of relief, but why I have no idea. before I can think more about her response. I hear a knock at my front door, I jump up to go let jasper in. Once in my room, he flops down onto my bed and stretches out.

"I do love your bed man, makes spooning you even better" He laughs while propping himself up onto his elbow.

"Yea, and that's why I don't let you stay anymore..." I say, while placing Call of Duty in the disk tray.

"So what's new with you? Seemed really distracted, when I spoke to you. Tanya given you herpes or some shit?" He is joking, but there is a serious undertone to his voice.

"No, I'm fine just boring shit, college is dragging like hell this year. I just want to hurry up and move out and start my life away from this place" I sigh, I've told him this countless times.

"Ok man, well once we get our place we can do our own thing. Nothing but music, take out, training and Xbox. Sound good?"

"Can't wait to live with you baby" I say while winking at him and shoving his feet out the way. I hand him his controller and start the game.

It all goes silent after that, apart from the odd "fuck" and "shit" thrown in. The only breaks we take are to order food and then to eat it. The easy thing about Jasper is our silence isn't awkward. We can sit and not talk, but enjoy each other's company. We would joke and say if we are still single at 40 we will marry one another. Though being single at 40 is a high possibility for me. I know Jasper is the kind to settle down, have kids and get married. I don't do relationships. I could never get close enough to someone to have one. I have one night stands at parties on occasions. I used to trust people and care too much for people who didn't care enough. But now I was too tired to try and make the effort. When I know it would never be returned. Jasper was the closest person to me, yet he didn't know hardly anything about me. And again, the thing that pissed me off the most. Was the fact I wanted to message Bella back, even though I had no reason to. I knew she chose to sit alone, she was ok that way. So why did I still care? Her boyfriend would take care of her...

Jasper left around midnight so I decided to get an early night. Since I hadn't slept the night before, I thought it was a good idea. I strip down and climb into my bed, jasper's right my bed rocks. I have no college tomorrow, so I make a promise to spend my day on music. Even though I'm exhausted, I can't seem to fall asleep. My thoughts are filled with brown hair and beautiful eyes. Then of course my body totally betrays me, and I get a hard on. Now I either have to get up and take a shower or sleep in pain. I decide to give up on sleep and take a shower. Once in the bathroom I turn the water on, and the room fills with steam. I take off my boxers and climb in to the heat, and turn my face against the hot spray. I let the hot water glide down my chest and over my back. Feeling the muscles in my body unclench feels amazing. I grab my dick in my hand and start to think of the same stuff that always gets me off. But this time, it doesn't seem to have its usual effect. A thought crosses my mind that shouldn't have been there in the first place. I start to picture Bella in my mind. Before I even know what's happening I cum violently and have to hold myself up to prevent falling over. Dizzy from my intense orgasm I clean myself off and get out of the shower. Drying off, I put my boxers back on and head to bed.

The next day I wake to the smell of pancakes and bacon. I look over and my alarm clock says it's 11am. Not as long as I'd hope to sleep, but it will do for now. I put on some sweat pants, and head downstairs. I kiss my mum on the head as I walk into the kitchen. Then grabbing a plate, I pile enough food on to feed a small village. Heading back up to my bedroom, I turn on my computer and shove a fork full of food into my mouth. Firing up ITunes I put my slow playlist on and relax into my chair. Going onto Facebook I have my usual message from Tanya. I don't even think she would have the ability to get me off anymore. I stare at the message from Bella and read it over and over. Why am I unable to stop thinking about this girl? She was just another girl, rite? I finish my breakfast and start my morning workout. See if I can try and release this feeling that's building up inside me. I spend the rest of my day writing songs and playing my guitar. The only breaks I take are to eat and piss, or play Xbox. Before I know it, it's 1am so I climb into bed. Tomorrow is another boring day at college. But for some reason I'm all keyed up and can't sleep. What is going on with me? Maybe I should go to the doctors, perhaps I'm going insane. Finally I fall asleep, only to dream about a girl with eyes I could get lost in.

I wake with a jolt, not because I was having a nightmare. But because my dreams freaked me out. Since when can I get lost in a girls eyes? And one I've spoken to once, and don't really know. Pull yourself together, you sound like a fucking girl. My alarm clock says it's 5:50am so I decide to give up my ten more minutes of sleep and get up. I really need to sort myself out, and stop thinking stuff like that. Maybe it's because I need to get laid, lack of sex. Leading me to fantasise about a girl I don't even know! Maybe I should message Tanya, so I can go back to normal.

I do my usual routine, eat, workout, shower and then get my bag ready to leave. And all too soon I'm at college. It's not that I am against learning, I'm just too smart for the shit they teach. So most of the time I am just bored out of my brain. But as I walked down the corridor I felt my stomach clench in anticipation but I have no idea why. As I sit in my usual space on the floor, I take a look around. I can't see Bella and I feel a pang of disappointment. Would of been cool to see if she looked any different today. Why because you messaged her? Take your ego down a notch, you douche. We head into class, and I sit down rite at the back.

About twenty minutes into the lecture, the door opens and Bella comes rushing in. She scans the room for a seat, and I realise the only empty seat in next to me. She walks along the classroom and sits down beside me, causing me to tense completely. She pulls out her note book, but instead of taking notes. She sits a doodles patterns and pictures. I take a glance at what she is drawing, Pokémon? As she draws the outline of a Pikachu, I can't help but smile. I used to be such a big Pokémon fan when I was a kid. I still am if I am totally honest, but not in a nerdy way. She rests her head on her hand and glances at the board occasionally. Should I say hi? She still looks really sad.

See, I told you your message wouldn't do anything! She is probably just missing her boyfriend. And like you, she doesn't want to be stuck in this hell hole. Maybe I should just strike up a conversation? She doesn't seem like other girls, so I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"What is your favourite Pokémon?" I whisper under my breath, while pointing to her sketches.

She seems surprised I would talk to her, but recovers quickly.

"I would probably have to say Pikachu, but I also like Charmander and Cubone" She smiles as she looks at her artwork.

"Mine are Charizard and Mew." I snicker, because Mew isn't exactly a manly Pokémon to like.

"It's really geeky I know, but reminds me of being a kid. When times were a lot less complex, and you could be yourself." She sighed, sounding like she missed those times.

"You're never too old to give in, to your inner child." I say while looking her directly in the eyes.

For some reason this subject feels extremely personal. So I do what I always do, I looked down to stop it from continuing. Though I still glance at her from the corner of my eye. She looks confused, though I have no idea why. The lesson ends before we can talk anymore. We file out the lecture hall and I go downstairs for a smoke. As I take a big pull and breath the smoke down to the bottom of my lungs. I try and figure out what it is, that has my head so muddled lately. Don't get me wrong, my head is a very fucked up place. And I have a lot of trouble sorting through what I think and feel. This causes me to over analyse situations, to the point I drive myself insane. But this time it's different, and I can't put my finger on why. Once I'm done, I throw my cigarette on the floor and head back up to the class room. I text Jasper on my way up, asking if he wants to go out this weekend. He is up for going out, needing to let off steam as well. I need to go out and get drunk, so I can't feel whatever this is. I feel like I need to do something, but I don't know what.

The rest of the day passes without incident and me and Bella don't talk again. Once I'm home I bust out my guitar and try and get my thoughts down on paper. When that doesn't really work, I look to the greats for inspiration. I listen to all my favourite artists; Ron Pope, Trading Yesterday, Safetysuit, Evanescence, Linkin Park, Parachute, Anberlin, Ed Sheeran, Jason Walker, Secondhand Serenade, Lifehouse and Snow Patrol. Music has always been a great release for me. Allowing me to feel less alone and like others know how I feel. Still feeling slightly frustrated I decide to work out and aim to make my six pack into an eight pack by the summer. I finish my coursework for the night then am left with a couple hours to kill. I head onto Facebook and look through my feed to see what's going on. My chat is open and I see Bella is online, should I message her? You may as well you looser, you can't stop thinking about her. I open up a chat window and start typing...

**Edward: Hey**

**Bella: Hi**

**Edward: How are you? **

**Bella: I'm fine, just doing the paper for behaviour.**

**Edward: Behind on your work aye? Tsk Tsk...**

**Bella: Are you judging me? Mr I like cute pink Pokémon.**

I can't help but smile at her playful response. This girl is funny, and geeky which is extremely cute to me.

**Edward: I'll have you know, Mew is very powerful...And me judging? Never.**

**Bella: Yea, you keep telling yourself that. What are you up to anyways?**

**Edward: Listening to music and talking to you. Look I'm sorry if it seemed like I was butting in your business with that message. That wasn't my intention, I just wanted you to know... That if you ever want someone to vent to, I'm...yano...here. **

**Bella: You know you don't fool me right? Your 'I don't give a shit' act. Others may buy it, but I know you are a different person on the inside. **

**Edward: What makes you say that? I don't care, caring gets you hurt.**

Woah, why did you tell her that? Now she is going know something is up. But I can't bring myself to care. Part of me is telling me to run, before I slip up and tell her something I shouldn't. Though another part of me, is saying I can trust her.

**Bella: No one at that college even notices I'm there. Yet you care enough to message me to try make things better for me? When I have done nothing to earn your sweet actions. Your act doesn't fool me Edward.**

**Edward: What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the bad guy?**

**Bella: You're not, I can see what you're trying to put off. But I know it's just to keep people away from you, it's a mask. I won't push you to tell me why you do it. Why would you trust me? You don't know me. But I am extending the same invitation you gave me. If you need to vent at any point, I'm here. **

**Edward: Thank you, I appreciate your offer. Look I need to go to sleep, but maybe we could talk over the weekend? You know, if you want to. **

**Bella: I'd like that, goodnight Edward sweet dreams. **

**Edward: Night Bella. **

I close Facebook and lean back in my chair. What just happened? Are we friends? Still confused and quit honestly a little scared I head off to bed. Tomorrow is another day, another challenge.

_Hello my lovely readers! what do you think of the second chapter? I know it's rather boring at this point. But I have some great idea's for this story, and I am hoping you're as excited to read and I am to write. Please leave me reviews, they are better than cute pink Pokémon! Show me the love. x_


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up after another night of strange dreams of deep brown eyes and a face becoming more and more familiar in my head. It's another 6am mundane morning and another boring day of college ahead of me. Yet I'm starting to look forward to it, not for the lessons which quite frankly, are shit but, to see her face.

Eventually I drag myself out of bed; I slip on some sweats and a t-shirt. I head downstairs towards the Kitchen, and something smells good. I make my way to the source of the smell and sit down and start to pile my plate with food. After breakfast I start my usual routine of working out then head to the bathroom. I turn the shower on and let the room fill with warm steam. I take off my clothes and climb in to the hot shower. As I stand under the waterfall, the hot water on my body helps relax me and start to slowly wake me up. Once I'm out and dry myself off, I chuck on some clothes grabbing my bag, and making my way to college.

When I get to college I sit in my usual spot in the hallway before class. I get my IPod out and put on some music to drown out the world. I scan the room seeing the other people in my class doing their usual thing. To be honest I wasn't looking at them, I am searching for Bella to see if she is in today. And if so is she is looking back at me? I know it's stupid, I mean why would she? It was stupid to think maybe after talking more she may notice me more.

Eventually our eyes meet; she is sitting on the opposite side of the hallway. Just a few feet away from me, immediately we shy away and look around the room. Before I ran out of places to look, the door opens and class begins. I try to walk close to Bella and get a seat next to her but 2 other class mates beat me to it. I take an available seat on the opposite side of the class.

The class drags on and the hours pass slowly. I have no idea what the lesson is about, I don't really listen to the teacher. I just phase out and get lost in my music. But today is different; I can't seem to register what music is on. I just keep glancing over at Bella; she is looking down at her work. She looks sad again, why so sad beautiful? She glances up and our eyes lock, Shit! I try to look away and make it seem like it is just a coincidence that we both looked at the same time. I hope she doesn't think I've been starring most of the day.

Finally the lesson finishes and I pack my stuff up and leave the class. I head to the cafeteria and get some lunch, its college food so its shit but least it fills a hole till I get home. I sit next to a few of the people from my class at a table. I try not to acknowledge them as I have no interest in their problems or who did what with whom at that party. I glance around the room for Bella again, wondering what she is doing or where she goes at lunch. She is the kind of person I can imagine sitting on her own, drawing pictures in the library or reading a book.

As I scan the room I see her, sitting in the corner on a bench looking at her phone. She has a packet of peanut M&M's and a bottle of Dr Pepper. Is she talking to her boyfriend? If she is, she doesn't look very happy about it. Maybe he is dick and is being an asshole to her. Why does this thought make me so angry? I hardly know her and yet I feel really protective over her. Before I could think much more about the situation, the bell rings and I walk towards another hour of hell.

Not much more happened for the rest of the afternoon. Lessons went fast -for once- and I head home. I get home and head straight to my room, turning on my computer. I do my usual checks, stoping on Facebook. First thing I do is check if Bella is online yet. She is. I never thought I could type so fast in my life. Why so eager? She is just like any other girl. Yea... any other girl you eye fuck constantly.

**Edward: Hey**

**Bella: Hey, how are you?**

**Edward: Yeah I'm ok. Was today as boring for you as it was for me?**

**Bella: Yeah it was extremely boring, but I'm guessing you noticed that?**

**Edward: Oh right yeah... You saw that did you? I just glanced over, who were you talking to at lunch? You seemed upset.**

**Bella: Oh no I was fine, I was talking to my boyfriend Jacob. We were just discussing plans for Christmas.**

Oh... so she does have a boyfriend, guess that guy on her photo was him. Not that this should bother me but it does for some reason. Like I am slightly disappointed she isn't single. Probably just because it means I can't fuck her now. Yea, that must be it.

**Edward: Oh right long as you are ok. So what are your plans for Christmas?**

**Bella: Jacob wants me to spend it with him alone this year and could always spend next year with my family. What about you? Got anything nice planned?**

**Edward: Sounds nice, me? Nothing special. Most likely spend it with family or see Jasper maybe. That is about as exciting as my life gets lol.**

**Bella: That sounds nice. Nothing wrong with having a quiet Christmas. Rather not have all the drama.**

**Edward: I know exactly what you mean. So how long have you been with Jacob? If you don't mind me asking. If I am intruding just tell me to fuck off **

**Bella: No, no it's ok. We went out for about 6months in the past but it didn't work out at the time. We just ended up fighting a lot and he blanked me for 3 weeks so I ended it. But had some time apart and got talking again and he has changed since then. He said he has seen his errors and wants to make it right. So we thought we should try it again, it's been about 2 weeks now. Going well.**

Wow what a dick... why would she take him back after that. I just hope he really has changed.

**Edward: Oh right well that's great that he has changed and wants to make it up to you.**

**Bella: Yeah he really seems to be trying this time.**

**Edward: I'm happy for you :) **

Liar...

**Bella: So what about you? No girlfriend to spend your Christmas with? You mentioned a guy called Jasper. Is that your boyfriend? Sorry, I don't mean to intrude. **

**Edward: haha! No, I'm not gay Jasper is just my good friend. I've never actually had a relationship before. I tend to shy away from relationships altogether. **

**Bella: Oh why is that? If you don't mind me asking?**

**Edward: Ummm...**

**Bella: It's fine you don't have to tell me. It's not my business anyway. **

**Edward: Thank you. Though I do umm enjoy talking to you...**

**Bella: Thanks you :) Look I'm going to catch up on some sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow?**

**Edward: Sure, I look forward to it. Sleep well X**

**Bella: Night Edward, sweet dreams. x**

God Edward you sad bastard. It's strange that it's now 12.30am and I have been talking to her since I got home. It's like time is different around her, I feel different around her, why? Why would some girl I have known a few days affect me like this? I try to move on before I do my usual thing and over think everything that's been said. I finish checking my blogs and newsfeeds and try and get some sleep myself.

I dream of her again, but this time it's different, there is a new face, a darker face. Short black hair, dark eyes that could kill. This man is with her, she is upset I can't tell if he is responsible or just with her. He is smiling at her, She seems afraid of him like his intentions are ill. He grabs her arm not out of love but out of hate, anger. She is crying, I want to do something but I can't speak, I have no voice. I try to run but I stumble and can't seem to get up. He keeps grabbing her harder and she screams "let me go" I shoot up. "Get off her!" I scream but they don't react, I'm sweating and my fists are clenched at my side. I shoot up in bed, the surroundings have changed. I'm back in my room and I realise it was just a bad dream. Who was this guy? Why was he hurting her? I feel like I recognise him but I can't think where from. I look at my clock and let out a groan and its only 4.15am. I roll back over and bury my face in my pillow. I'm having nightmares now? I mean I suffer from nightmares but not that dream. After what seems like forever, I finally fall to sleep again.

I pry my eyes open to the morning light, then shut them again. I can't be bothered to face today, it's going to be boring, slow and pointless. At least tonight I can go out with jasper and drown these alien feelings from my body. Eventually after countless wasted efforts I finally decide to reluctantly get out of the warmth and security that is my bed. I swear I could spend an eternity under my covers.

I throw on some sweats and head downstairs to cure my stomach of hunger. I swear I am constantly hungry, I can't help it. I work out so much, that it causes me to burn off most of what I eat. So after stuffing my face with a week's supply of groceries I head upstairs to work out. I love to work out, it gives me a feeling of control. So much of my past has been out of my control. I like that I can make my body how I want it. My body looks good, if I do say so myself. I have a toned six pack, pecks and shoulders you could hang onto. Though I am still slim, I'm very extremely ripped. Though you wouldn't be able to tell, because of the clothes I wear.

I put on some tunes that fit perfectly with my fitness regime. I push myself more each time, repeating in my head "No pain, No gain" I hate that saying but unfortunately it's true. Once every muscle in my body is screaming at me, I jump in the shower to cool off and relax. After the shower I get dressed, put on some old jeans, white t-shirt and a Navy blue zip up hoodie. I sit at my desk and decide to look through some pictures online, to get inspiration for my new tattoo. I already have one on my arm with the quote "we accept the love we think we deserve" and really want to get another. I scroll through page after page of all different ideas, symbols, images and writing. I start sketching a few designs of tribal patterns and drift off while I let my creativity flow onto the pad. When my consciousness kicks back in, I look at what I've drawn so far. Only to realise that what started as a tribal weave has morphed into a pair of deep brown eyes. Even when trying to think of everything but her, she slips into my mind and artwork. Because I simply can't help myself, I go onto Facebook and start to type a message to Bella.

**Edward: Hey Bella, enjoying your day off? **

**Bella: Not right now, Jacob just blew me off to go to his friends house. **

**Edward: That sucks, I understand what it's like to be a second priority. So I can relate to what you're feeling. **

**Bella: Yea, but I guess that is just Jacob, it's how he is. **

A dick?

**Edward: Anything I can do to cheer you up?**

**Bella: You can tell me more about you, to distract me. What do you like to do in your spare time? **

She want to get to know me? No idiot, she just wants' a distraction.

**Edward: Umm, I'm Edward, I'm 18, I like to write and listen to music, I play guitar and Piano, I draw a lot, I work out every day, my two closest friends are Emmett and Jasper, I like Chinese food, I have a tattoo and want more and I smoke. Helpful enough? :P **

**Bella: You smoke? I didn't know that, I used to but I quit. I'd love to hear some of your music sometime, do you record any of it? And what is your tattoo? **

**Edward: I don't record it no, never thought I was good enough. Maybe I will serenade you sometime. My tattoo is on my forearm, it says "We accept the love we think we deserve" It's from a really great book called "the perks of being a wallflower" Have you read it? **

**Bella: Oh wow! My own live concert, can't wait hehe. And YES! I love that book, Can't wait for the movie to come out. Sounds like a nice tattoo, you will have to show me sometime. **

**Edward: Um well, without sounding too forward. Could I have your number? then I could text you a picture...**

**Bella: Yea sure it's 07850554188**

**Edward: Ok, I'll go take a picture. **

What I was about to do would probably get me slapped but I couldn't help myself. And I wanted to see what she would say... I take the photo and hit send and wait for her response. While my phone is in my hand, I remember I was supposed to be going out with Jasper tonight. Shit! I totally forgot, and not I don't want to go out. I throw Jasper a quick text, asking for a rain check. I told him I feel sick and he buys it. I'm not normally the kind to stay home and talk to a girl.

**Bella: Do you not know how to roll up your sleeve? Was a shirtless full length picture of you really necessary? lol I'm not complaining though ;) **

**Edward: Yea sorry...I was topless as my room's so hot. And I didn't think you would mind, sorry. **

Liar.

**Bella: I don't. **

So she doesn't mind me flirting with her, I like that. I don't know why I like it so much.

**Edward: Good to know... So now tell me more about you :) **

**Bella: Well, I'm 17, I love to draw, my favourite animal is a tiger, my favourite colour is blue, My birthday is September 13th, I love to listen to music and I have my tummy pierced. **

Woah, tummy piercings are seriously hot! My mind starts to conjure up images of her in just her underwear. Then off course my body betrays me, once again. I'll have to do something about that soon, or she could...STOP IT! I try and distract myself, by typing my response.

**Edward: Tummy piercing aye? Very sexy. **

**Bella: Edward...are you flirting with me? **

Was I flirting with her? I read back over the conversation and realise I was. I wasn't going to lie, Bella is hot! But she had a boyfriend and I was too scared of being hurt again. Though I was never hurt through a relationship like that. I was still scared of caring so much, and being left alone.

**Edward: Yes, I guess I am. Does it bother you? I can stop, I know you have a boyfriend. **

**Bella: No, it doesn't bother me. It's a nice change...Jacob ignores me most of the time. Unless he wants something of course, then he comes running. **

**Edward: If you don't mind me asking, why do you put up with it? **

**Bella: Sometimes he can be really sweet. And he says he loves me, he just has a strange way of showing it I guess. Not like anyone else would have me anyways so...**

**Edward: I mean I have never been in a relationship. So I may not be the best for advice. But when you love someone, don't you treat them like the day starts and ends with them? And you shouldn't put yourself down like that. I mean...You're really beautiful yano? And you seem like a really nice person :) You deserve to be happy and be treated the correct way.**

**Bella: I never would have thought you would turn out to be so sweet. I always assumed you were the kind of guy who treated girls like shit. Didn't respect people, and did what you wanted. I was really wrong to have judged you without getting to know you. **

**Edward: Don't get me wrong, I have had my moments. In the past I cared for the wrong people, and it got me hurt. So I tend to close myself off from others, to avoid the pain. Plus, no one would want me. So I just stay alone, it's what I'm used to, It's what I am good at. **

**Bella: I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you. I'm damaged too, so you're not alone. I've been left by people I have loved, and it sucks. **

**Edward: Well, if you're willing to put up with me. Maybe we can be friends, and look out for one another? **

**Bella: I wouldn't have to put up with you. You're a nice guy and it would be a pleasure to be your friend :)**

**Edward: Oh, you'll realise it soon enough :) Anyway I need to sleep, time goes very fast when talking to you. Not that I am complaining of course :) Night sweet Bella, beautiful dreams. **

Where the hell did that come from? She is going to think you are some pansy...

**Bella: Goodnight Edward, I look forward to speaking to you tomorrow. If that is ok with you of course? **

She wants to talk to me again? And she is checking to see it's ok with me? Of course, I really like talking to Bella. She makes me feel different, better. She takes the dark away, and I feel things I haven't before.

**Edward: Of course, I look forward to it. X**

**Bella: Goodnight xx**

As soon as I log off my computer that feeling is back in my chest. A feel of longing and wanting, but I don't know what I am longing for. I do my work out, shower then climb into bed. Even though my body is dog tired, my mind wont switch off. I think about Bella, and how quickly she has affected my life. She makes me really happy, and that scares me. Because once she is gone and she will leave sooner or later. The pain will come back worse than before. The pain of being left by the ones you love, the pain of being used, second choice and forgotten.

I sit and think about my old best friend, James. We were extremely close, did everything together for years. I opened up to him about everything and he became a brother to me. I would have died for my dear friend, but I clearly didn't mean as much. He got a new girlfriend Victoria, she took a disliking to me. One day she gave him the ultimatum of her or me. He chose a girl he had been with for a few weeks over his best friend. Or that's what I thought I was to him, but clearly not. He cut me off with a text, and I never heard from him again. I then moved town, and spent the rest of high school bullied, alone and depressed. It was my most miserable time of my life, and I tried to take my life many times. Crossing the road I would stand in the middle of the road as car came. Think if I took one small step in front of the car it would all be over. But I never had the guts to do it in the end, though I don't know why I was hanging around. But now I felt like I should, and it was stupid. And though it scared me, I looked forward to the girl I knew I would dream about tonight.

_Ok guys! From this moment on, I will only be posting 1 chapter a week. The next will be Saturday the 23rd of March. I have posted pictures on my profile of clothes the characters wear. And will continue to post stuff relating to the story. Feel free to message me whenever, if you have any requests! But for now, please leave me some love! I love reviews better than eyes I could get lost in. x_


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is dedicated to **my** Bella...Shannon I love you so much and I will do anything for you :) Thank you for putting up with me, life sucks without you.

I wake with a jolt, my regular nightmares are back. I lean over checking my alarm clock, it says it's 2am. I fall back into bed and try to fall asleep again. I'm not sure how long I toss and turn for, but it's clear I'm not sleeping anytime soon. I give up with that idea and climb out of bed, turning on my laptop. I plug my headphones in and open up ITunes, maybe music will help. I'm still shaking slightly from my dream, they are always the same. I rub my hand across my eyes, trying to dislodge the images from my mind. I go on Facebook scanning the list, seeing if anyone decent is online. My eyes stop on Bella's name, she's awake? I open up a chat window and start typing...

**Edward: Can't sleep either? **

**Bella: No, I always stay up this late. It's why I fall asleep at college a lot hehe. **

**Edward: Ahhh I just thought you had Narcolepsy ;) **

**Bella: Very funny, but you fall asleep too! So don't think it goes unnoticed Mr. **

**Edward: You caught me...I actually had a nightmare so came on here to clear my head. You provide a good distraction :) **

**Bella: Oh :( What was it about? If you don't mind me asking.**

**Edward: Um...I get home and my house is totally empty. I panic and run to jaspers house, he isn't there either. I try calling my friend Emmett and he ignores my calls. I then seem them all walking away from me. I try running after them, I can't catch up and they just tell me to leave them alone. Everyone's leaves and I'm just left by myself... **

She's going to think you're pathetic you know that right? That you're just some pansy with issues and she will bolt. I don't want to go, I really like Bella.

**Bella: Oh no, that's terrible! I'm so sorry you had that dream :(**

**Edward: don't worry about it, I always have it...**

**Bella: You're scared to be alone? **

**Edward: Terrified... people leave you. **

**Bella: I won't leave you, we can help one another. **

**Edward: Don't make promises you can't keep. Everyone says they won't leave, but they always do. **

**Bella: I promise you, I'm not going anywhere if you promise the same thing. **

**Edward: I'm always the one who cares more, so there is no risk of me leaving. **

**Bella: So it's settled then...Forever & Always?**

**Edward: Forever & Always :)**

I don't take her side of the promise seriously...She will leave because they always do. But I do promise myself, that I will always be there for her. She deserved to be looked after, and made happy. Bella actually came across like a genuine person. She would try her hardest to keep that promise. And right now she probably had no intention of breaking it. But she would, there would come a time or a situation that made her run. I was a very fucked up person and sooner or later she would realise this... It was the main reason I couldn't even be myself around jasper. If he knew he would run, because I wasn't worth the hassle. There was nothing special about me...I was so beyond average it was painful.

**Bella: Good, maybe we could get tattoo's or something haha. **

**Edward: Sounds like a plan baby...Anyway I should really try getting some sleep. My face looks even worse without sleep and that's just not good. **

**Bella: Vain! No, I bet you still look sexy in the morning! I'm the one who needs beauty sleep!**

She thinks I am sexy? I really like that she does, so I can't help but smile.

**Edward: Bella, you've had too much beauty sleep. Your name is Beautiful in Italian for fuck sake haha. **

And it was true, Bella was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. It was sad to think she doubted herself and couldn't see what I did.

**Bella: Ha! Good one Edward, are you always this charming? Must be sleep deprivation. **

**Edward: I'm telling you the truth! But I do need to sleep, I'll message you tomorrow. **

**Bella: Night Edward, I look forward to it 3 **

Woah, little hearts? And reading it makes my heart speed up. Get a grip man!

**Edward: Night baby, speak soon 3 **

I log off my computer and climb into bed. I've all but forgotten about my nightmare but instead that night, as I drift off. I begin to dream of a stunning brunette with eyes like milk chocolate and lips so kissable. I imagine her with a guy, walking along the beach barefoot. Soaking their toes in the sand and holding hands. The sun is setting and there is a slight chill in the air. The guy drapes his jacket over Bella's shoulders and pull her into his side. The scene morphs and turns into them now sitting in a field surrounded by flowers. They're reading books and laughing, enjoying the summer sun and each other's company. The book covers the man's face, so I can't tell who he is. But as she sits up and leans in to kiss him. The book moves from his face and I see who he is. As she presses her lips to his I'm startled to see who it is.

I wake with a jolt, but not the same as my nightmares. This is just shock, and as I slowly wake up. Warmth spreads through my chest, but then quickly turns to disappointment. I was the one Bella was with, in my dream. And I can't help feel disappointed that is wasn't real. What was this? Why did I feel so strongly for a girl I haven't even known long. But the thing that worried me is I liked this... I liked feeling this way about her. Even though I knew it wouldn't end well for me, she wasn't available. Plus she wouldn't ever be interested in a guy like me anyway. So this is how it is? They say you always want what you can't have. Is this what this is? Me being so sadistic I'm attracted to a girl I can't have and a pain I know will come with her rejection. This was just going to make her leaving so much worse...I won't tell her how I feel, that would be pointless. Bella could be with anyone she desired, why would she settle for me? She also has a boyfriend, even though he is a dick. She clearly loves him or she wouldn't put up with all his shit. Maybe she will put up with you if you tell her. A small voice whispers in my head, but I push it back.

I roll over looking at my clock and I'm stunned to see it's midday. I pull myself out of bed and climb straight into the shower. My days seemed to be getting easier since talking to Bella. And I didn't wake up filled with dread, for the day ahead. My shower bring a feeling of familiarity, and it comforts me. The smell of my shower gel and shampoo fill my senses. I close my eyes and let the hot spray untie my muscles and clear my mind. Once I'm clean I jump out of the shower and rub the towel through my hair. I walk into my bedroom throwing on my black jeans, white Obey T-shirt and red chequered shirt. I put my favourite hat on my head and then my converse. I'm feeling good today, and I feel I should try looking good to reflect my mood. I sit down at my desk, opening up my laptop and turning it on. I fire up Facebook with an excited flutter to my stomach and I know exactly why. I'm looking forward to talking to Bella again, she makes me feel amazing. Though for the second time today disappointment floods through me when I see she isn't online. Well maybe it's because she has better things to do than talk to you dipshit. My good mood has officially disappeared and I'm not sure when it will be back online. I slam my laptop shut and grab my car keys. I'm not sure where I plan to go but I need a distraction.

I drive around for a while but end up in town, maybe I can grab some breakfast. I also may treat myself to some new clothes while I am down here. I park my car up in the underground car park and put a ticket in the window. I walk down the busy high street, passing shops that hold no interest for me. I finally get to one of my favourite shops and decide breakfast can wait for now. Walking in I take a deep breath in, this shop always smells good. I'm weird I know but oh well, being normal is boring. I stroll round the shop, browsing through the clothes and seeing a few things that catch my eye. I have the overwhelming urge to look up and when I do I'm shocked at what I see. Bella is standing across the store, scanning through the women's section. She turns away and turns her back to me, following the rail of clothes round. Why is she here? She's shopping you fucking idiot. Should I go talk to her? What would I say? She may not want to talk to me. I throw caution to the wind and think fuck it. I slowly walk up behind her stopping about two feet short.

"I thought models were supposed to stand in the window?" I say in the sexiest voice I can manage. You are such a fucking tool...

She freezes for a second before turning around. She's so tiny so she has to crank her neck to look up at me. But once we make eye contact, a smile spreads across her face.

"And that is exactly why I'm not stood up there. Shopping for a new bra Edward? Or just stalking me?" She laughs at her own joke and I find it so cute.

"Excuse me, but I was here to buy a paper bag for my face. You don't happen to know where the ugly section is do you?" I joke playfully but her smile falls...I regret my joke immediately.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Edward. You're really handsome and sexy, I wish I could make you see yourself clearly." She said with the cutest crease on her forehead. She looks like a angry kitten..No matter how angry, it's still fucking adorable. I try to lighten the subject and make her frown go away.

"Well here, let me carry your bags for you." I say bending down to take them from her hands.

She smiles up at me and it looks like she is about to protest so I shut shake my head in mock seriousness.

"Are you done here? Would you like some company?" I need to find an excuse to spend more time with her. I know I can't go there but I can still enjoy her company. Yes and then feel more and then hurt more. I kick my minds snide comment back where it came from and wait for her answer.

"I was just browsing, I've spent all of my money. I was just very gutted about that jacket." She points to a really nice jacket on the rack.

"I wanted to buy it for myself, but they don't have my size." Again the little crease is back and I so badly want to run my thumb over it. In true Edward style, I try to make a joke of it.

"Yea I hate it when they don't have the dress I want in my size" It works because she giggles and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. We walk out onto the street and I look up and down before deciding what to do next.

"Would you like some lunch? I'm starving, I didn't eat this morning"

"Lunch would be great, I know a really nice place up here. If it's ok can we eat there? I can be a fussy eater." Another little fact about her, I take them all in. I also make a mental note to try see if I can find out her size. That way I can come back and get that jacket for her. Why are you buying her gifts? She isn't your girlfriend? SHUT UP!

"Yea, sure, lead the way." I say as we start walking back towards the direction of my car. Inspiration strikes and I suggest her meeting me there. I offer to take her bags back to my car and I will take her home once we are done. I joke saying I promise not to steal anything, and head to my car. Before putting the clothes in the car I check the tags of the clothes she has already bought. I take a mental note of the size and promise myself to come back down soon, or try ordering it online. I walk back around and follow the directions she gave me. I laugh when I see where we are eating. She is standing outside, smiling at my reaction.

"Burger king? We are having lunch at Burger King?" I smile but inside I'm thinking this is her way of making it clear we are friends.

"I love the bacon double cheese burgers here. But if you don't like it, we can eat somewhere else?"

"No, I love Burger King and bacon double cheese burgers. I'm just shocked you didn't want to go somewhere...Nicer." I'm not sure what to say, I can't say what I am truly thinking. Because I shouldn't be thinking about that at all.

"I can't afford nicer, but anyway it's cold so let's go inside." I'm about to argue that I had the intention to pay, but she quickly disappears inside. We go inside and order our food, taking a seat by the window. I take opportunity to get to know Bella better, I ask her countless questions about herself. The more the learn the more I like her, god just my luck. I ask her all different questions; what books does she like to read? Where in the world would she like to go? What would she like to do after college? her fears, dreams, family, friends, favourite foods, music taste, movies and so much more. I learn so much in such a short amount of time, yet it isn't enough. I realise we have an awful lot in common, and that makes me happy. It also for a second makes me feel hopful. But as soon as that emotion appears I push it out of my mind. I don't bring up Jacob and neither does she, and for that I am grateful. We finished out food about 2 hours ago and the sun is starting to set.

"I should take you home, your parents will think you have been kidnapped." I laugh and start to put the rubbish in the bin.

"Yea, who would want to kidnap me." She says standing up from her seat and throwing her bag over her shoulder. I would like to kidnap you Bella, and we could run away. But again, I give my thoughts to myself.

"let's just go, you silly girl" I laugh as I lead her outside and we walk to my car. We walk in silence but it isn't awkward, which is rare for me to find. My mind is racing as we walk towards the car park. Will she want to hang out again? Maybe I should ask her, but I don't want her to think I'm asking her on a date. Though I really would like to ask Bella on a date. I've never done that before, but this girl makes me want to be different. My head is clear for the first time in a long time, and it's because of her. She also makes me really happy, without even doing anything. We reach my car and I open the door for her to climb in. She looks a little shocked and confused then understanding crosses her face. She then smiles that amazing smile and climbs in without a word. Has her boyfriend never opened a door for her before? Pulled her chair out? The things you do for women to show respect? I don't think more into it, instead walking round to the driver's side. I climb in and find her looking through my CD's.

"You have such a varied music taste, very open minded" She giggles and slips in a Ron Pope album. I love how comfortable she is around me, like we've been friends forever.

"I have a music for all my moods, driving is therapeutic for me" I explain but I am shy about it. Most people don't see driving as fun, it's just a way to get around. She nods her head and settles back into her chair. She told me her address earlier so I know where I am heading. But just when I think this day is becoming so perfect her phone rings. Her smile fades when she sees who is calling her and then she reluctantly answers the phone.

"Hey Jake, no I'm out with Edward. We bumped into each other in town? No, he's a guy from my class. Jake we're friends, I'm allowed friends aren't I? What is your problem? Oh look I will talk to you later, goodbye Jacob!" She hangs up and throws her phone into her bag. She sits back and shakes her head from side to side, the crease is back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I say, being supportive, friends do that rite?

"He is just really controlling and I hate it. He clearly doesn't trust me, and it really bugs me. I've never done anything to make him loose trust in me. But now he is making me want too, I don't know if I can take it anymore." She explains and a small part of me is happy. She deserves better, and if she leaves that asshole I could as her out. Hey you selfish prick, Bella is going through hard times. Stop thinking about what you could fucking gain.

"Why do you stick around? What's so special about him? You could get anyone you wanted." I say trying to better her mood. I want to hug her to my chest, and hold her till the upset goes away. Because I know I can't do this, I place both hands on the wheel. My knuckles are white as bone, and I'm afraid of breaking it.

"Our relationship used to be so fun! We would always be together an now it's like he can't be bothered. But at the same time, he still wants to control me. Who I see, what I do, even the clothes I wear. We constantly fight and it's just become very bad very quickly. It's like once he knew he had me, he doesn't have to try anymore."

"Bella, please don't take this the wrong way. I am no expert on relationships and I don't like telling people what to do. But this guy sounds like a dick, he wants you when it suits him. Girls aren't like toys, you can't drop them once you're bored. Girls deserve respect and he clearly doesn't respect you. Also I thought relationships were built on trust? Honesty? Laughter? Love? I think you deserve a lot more than he can give you. Someone who helps you achieve your dreams. Who will bring you the stars if that's what you want."

She is looking at me with pure shock on her face. I hadn't noticed till I look back once I stopped talking. Now I'm not sure what to do, does she think it's stupid?

"Edward, you're such an amazing guy. Why are you single? Surely someone like you would be snatched up a long time ago. I thought guys like you only existed in my book collection at home"

I can't help at laugh, at least she doesn't think I'm a looser. I mean, I barely know the girl yet here we are.

"I've never found someone special enough to open up too. I'm scared once people know the real me, they will leave. You actually know more about me than anyone I've ever met." And as I say the last sentence to her, I realise its truth. I have opened up to this girl, more in the last week. Than I have ever opened up to people I've known years.

"I'm special" she smiles, like she likes the idea.

"You are" I say and smirk at her

There is all of a sudden a cloud of electric in the air and I'm not sure what to do. Ron pope is singing about first dates and I can't help but smile. This isn't a date though, as much as I wish it was. We pull up to her house and the current is still running between us.

"Thank you for today Edward, it was really nice and I'm glad I saw you" She looks down as she says the last part. Is she embarrassed? Why would she be embarrassed?

"It was my pleasure Bella, I really enjoy spending time with you." I say but neither of us make a move to get out of the car. We are looking each other in the eye as if silently communicating. Her eyes dart to my lips and she bites hers. HOLY SHIT! My dick goes completely hard and makes my sitting position very uncomfortable. God I want to kiss her, so bad. I shift slightly in my seat and it seems to bring her out of her days. Her eyes seem to go wide, but why I have no idea. Maybe because she knows it would be a huge mistake to kiss you. I shove my minds comments back and try coming back to the present. She gathers her bag in a rush and says what I think was a goodbye. But before she is fully out of the car I realise something. I'm leaning over to her side of the car at this point to try stop her.

"Bella?" I say and she whips round so fast it's almost inhuman. before I know what's happening her lips are pressed to mine. So soft, her lips mould perfectly to mine. I've never been a fan of kissing, it's always been to intimate for me. But in this moment it feels so right to be kissing her. Before I can react she pulls back, eyes even wider than before. I don't think she realised I was so close, when she turned around. Panic covers her face and I feel like I need to say something to explain.

"Your clothes are still in the back of the car. I was going to remind you, and I leant over. Shit Bella I'm sorry, I didn't intend for that to happen" But I didn't regret it in the slightest. It was true I didn't intend for that to happen. But I was so not sorry, that was amazing. If I thought I was hard before, I was like a rock now.

"Yes! Of course, it was just I didn't realise you were leaving over. I'm sorry." She is moving fast again, getting out of the car and gathering her bags in her hand.

"Thanks again for today, um I have to go" She says it so fast I can't be sure that was she even said. She then runs up her drive and throws herself through the front door. I sit back in my seat and try gather my thoughts, I just kissed Bella. I'm almost buzzing and there is a huge smile on my face. I seriously need to get home and sort out the situation in my trousers. At least this time I will have an actual memory to go on. God I wanted to deepen that kiss, put my hands in her hair and pull her closer. I wanted to be the one biting her lip, neck and more. Wow down boy, get home before you go knocking on her door. I put the car into first gear and pull away from her house and head home.

_So? What did you think? Too soon? Good? Bad? I need feedback and what would you like to see from these two characters? Let me know! Reviews are better than kissing Edward in the car after a day of shopping! _


	5. Chapter 5

I finally get home still riding on my high, from kissing Bella. My keys rattle as I open my front door, stepping in and closing it behind me. I head straight up to my room, though I can smell dinner cooking. I sit down at my computer and load it up, heading straight to Facebook. I'm disappointed to see that Bella isn't online yet. Though she may be putting her new clothes away or eating dinner herself. I decide to go online and see if I can find that jacket she wanted. I can send it direct to her house, now that I knew her address. That way she couldn't send it back, or not accept it. She also wouldn't know it was from me, as she may not like that. Though I worried she would think it was from Jacob and think he had turned over a new leaf. I find the exact jacket and add it to the shopping cart, I continue looking for myself. After finding some things for myself I get called down to dinner.

I sit with my parents and listen at what they did with their days. They ask me what I did and for some unknown reason, I tell them. I tell them everything but leave out the kiss at the end, they don't need to know that. They offer their opinions on my matter and my mum is very excited I like someone. Though she takes a disliking to Jacob and the kind of person he is. That's one thing me and my mother have in common. Once I have finished my dinner, I take our plates and head to the sink to wash up. Once that is done, I head back upstairs towards my room. When I check Bella still isn't online, she didn't mention she had any other plans. I start to worry, but then realise I'm becoming obsessive. I need to realise I can't talk to her every minute of every day. Stop being such a fucking pussy and do something else with your time! So instead I write and write and write until my hands are screaming out in pain. I write down everything I'm feeling, thinking, what I want to do and things I have done. By the time I'm finished I've written 40 pages in my journal, but I feel a lot better. Getting everything down onto paper makes my head feel less crowded.

Bella never came online that night, and I wonder if she will talk to me again. I try not to let my mind be negative, but this is what happens. I do things and people run, I care and people leave. Maybe I should text her and say sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen. Even though I really enjoyed it, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I reach into my jeans taking out my phone, then I think maybe I should call. Would it be more polite to call her? I check my phone it's not too late, she should be in bed. I try calling her but it just rings and rings, I decide to leave a message.

"Hey Bella, it's Edward. I uh just wanted to make sure you are ok. And I wanted to apologise about earlier, I didn't mean for it to happen. When you get this could you just let me know if we are still ok? Or maybe I'm just being paranoid and you've forgotten about it. Anyway yea, just give me a call or text or something."

I hang up the phone wanting to hit myself, you sound so stupid! I throw my phone on my bed and go sit by the window. It's raining outside so I just sit and watch it all fall down. I try and think things through, and I don't like what I come up with. Maybe she knows you have feelings for her, and she's not interested. I told her an accident but she may think I planned it. This is why I don't get close to people, I get attached then fuck it up. I've never liked a girl, the way I like Bella. I liked her a lot, maybe too much for how long I've known her. I sit just stewing in my thoughts for god knows how long. Though by the time I snap out of it, it's dark and the rain has stopped. I check the clock, it says it's 2am. I walk over to my computer, though it hasn't made a sound all night. She still isn't online when I check, so I decide to give up and get ready for bed. I go in the bathroom to brush my teeth, once that's done I head back to my room. I'm about to start getting undressed when I hear my phone beep. I walk over to my bed even though I want to ignore whoever it is. It's most likely Tanya, she is probably at a party and been rejected. This always happens and she always want to see me afterwards to make herself feel less of a slut. I pick my phone up and the screen come to life. I can't believe it but the text is from Bella. No doubt telling me to leave her alone and stop annoying her. I go to my inbox and open up the message...

**Hey, it's me. Ummm I don't know if you're awake but I could really do with seeing you. Jake called once I got home and we've been fighting all night. I just need a friend because I don't want to be on my own right now. **

**B x**

I stare at the phone dumb struck, she wasn't ignoring me. It was that prick making her upset and now she wanted to see me. Of course I would go see her, anything she wanted. I quickly grab my jacket and car keys, taking the stairs three at a time. I bolt out of the front door and sprint to my car. Climbing in I shove the key in the ignition making the car roar to life. I hit the gas and speed away into the night. I get so frustrated when I'm forced to stop at traffic lights, taking forever to change. I'm pretty sure I would have my license taken off me if I get caught. But that is the last thing on my mind as I speed towards Bella's house. I'm about ten minutes away but it feels like a lifetime as I take corners at 60mph. I'm finally a few minutes away and I push my car even harder down the deserted streets. I finally pull up outside her house and quickly climb out the car. Do I knock? What if her parents are in bed? I stand back looking up at the house and see a bedroom light on. You can see someone walking around upstairs but you can't see who. I chance it and decide I can't waste more time, she's upset. I walk up to her front door and knock lightly on the hard wooden door. I wait for what seems like an eternity, I just want to comfort her. And then she's there, eye's bright red from crying, in sweats and a baggy T-shirt. She stands there with her hand on the door just staring at me. Then before I realise what's happen she throws herself at me and hugs me so tight. I'm stunned at first and don't know what to do, then I wrap my arms around her. We stand there just holding one another, as she sobs into my neck. I simply hold her tight and try comfort her but finally she pulls away.

"I didn't think you were going to come. I thought I'd upset you, I didn't mean to ignore you." She sobs, she looks so sad I want to hold her again.

"Of course I came, sorry I didn't text back. I just got in my care and came straight here. Forever and Always remember? Look it's cold out here do you want to go inside and I'll make you tea?" I always drank tea when I was upset and I remember her telling me she liked tea too. She nods her little head with her eyes shut, though tears are still falling. I pick her up and cradle her to my chest walking her into her house and up the stairs. I realise the room at the front of the house with the light on is her bedroom. I walk in shutting the door and placing her on her bed. I sit next to her, whipping her tears from her face and brushing her hair from her eyes.

"I'm going to go get you a drink, I'll be back ok?" I try make my voice as soothing as possible, trying to calm her down. She nods her head again and I get up from the bed heading downstairs. I try and be as quiet as possible, trying not to wake her parents up. I go into the kitchen and get everything I need to make her a drink. While the water boils I look around the large open downstairs. I spot some school photo's of Bella and take a look. I bet she hates these, and I can tease her about them. Once she is in a better mood of course, I need to comfort her now. The kettle makes a sound, letting me know it's boiled. I make our tea and then head back upstairs to Bella. As I push the door open I see her lying on her bed curled up in a ball. With big fat tears streaming down her face, it breaks my heart. I set the two cups of tea down on her bedside table and sit down on the edge of her bed.

"I made you some tea, is there anything else I can do for you sweetie?" I say but I don't voice that I would like to beat the shit out of her crappy boyfriend. She doesn't need upsetting further so I keep my idea's to myself. She just shakes her head then slowly sits up, leaning against the headboard.

"Thank you Edward, for everything you're an amazing friend." The word friend makes me feel sick but I try keep my smile showing for her sake. I reach for my tea and take a sip, it's still too hot to drink properly. Searching for conversation I stand up and take a look around her room. I know she will talk about the situation when she is read and I won't push her. She has a lot of art supplies, posters, fairy lights handing from the ceiling, wrapping themselves round the room. She has an a laptop perched on a small table by her bed and a TV on the wall. She also has a small chest of draws against the far wall with a mirror on top. But the most dominant feature in her room is her huge bookshelf filled with the most amount of books I've seen outside a library. I walk over to the bookshelf and I hear Bella place her tea on her bedside table again. I can feel her eyes on me as mine scan the shelves, taking in the authors names and recognising most.

"I'm guessing you like to read then?" I say turning around with a playful smirk on my face.

"Wrong, I love to read. There is nothing better than getting lost in an amazing book." She says and you can tell she is telling the truth. You can tell by the way her eyes light up and she sits up a little straighter. I look back to the books and see that there is everything here. From classical British literature to teenage fantasy fiction and murder mystery novels. My eyes fall on a particularly battered copy of Wuthering heights; I reach out and pull it from the shelves.

"Now...from the crisp copy's of these other books. I'm guessing you don't buy second hand books. This leads me to believe you read this book a lot." I say opening the book up and taking a look at the worn dog eared pages inside.

"You should be a detective you know that?" She says hiding her smile behind her cup of tea. I hear her giggle though, so I know her mood is improving.

"Why do you like this? The story is awful, the characters have nothing likeable about them and they don't even end up together." I say though trying not to speak to loud, not wanting to wake the whole house.

"I don't know I just love it. Their love is their only redeeming quality, it's true but maybe that's what I love." I try and absorb what she has said and I guess she has a point. Even the worst people in the world fall in love. When the darkest beings who are capable of such evil and care about little. Yet their heart opens for one person and it's what makes them human. The thought is almost romantic in a sense and I realise I've started daydreaming.

"You're right, but I still wouldn't read it again. Though I am more than willing to share with you some of my favourite books." I tease but she probably has most of the books I own. I place the copy of Wuthering Heights back between the two books it was wedged between before. I then stroll back over to Bella where she is still sat on her bed sipping tea. Her eyes are still red and puffy from crying and there are tear tracks down her face. Though the tears have stopped for now, and for whatever reason I am glad. We just sit staring at each other for a while, absorbing each other's presence. It's so crazy to think how in such little time, someone who was once a stranger could become so important. It's also crazy that I could feel so much for the girl in front of me. I hadn't known Bella long yet I felt a connection with her like no other, I craved her company.

"It's strange...I haven't known you long yet I feel like you've always been in my life." Her beautiful voice breaks the silence and I see we are on the same page again.

"And here I was thinking I was a mind reader. I was just thinking the same thing, I don't normally feel this way with people. Hell I've never been this close with someone, let alone in such a short amount of time." I say and it's true even people I've known years don't know me like Bella does.

"Why don't you let people see the good in you? Everyone thinks you're the guy who sleeps around, gets what he wants and doesn't care." She says it almost like she feels bad people see me that way. I think her question over and tell her my reasons once I am happy with my answer.

"When people see good, they expect good. And I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations. " It was as true an answer I could think of. I think she is going to ask me more about myself but instead she says something off track.

"Jacob is such an asshole, he showed up ten minutes after I got home. He started screaming at me, calling me a cheater and a liar. He didn't give me a chance to talk or explain myself, she just shouted at me." Wow he is such an asshole, I really wanted her to realise this. She deserves so much better than he, he was abusive and cruel.

"You really deserve better you know that? He is a dick I'm sorry but it's true...Maybe be was great in the beginning because he wanted you back. Now he has you he doesn't have to pretend and he takes advantage of your feelings for him." I realise I'm getting worked up and I try and keep myself calm. She doesn't need another lecture, she needs comfort. I mutter an apology and look down at the floor, I'm not sure what to do. Did he even love her? Was a guy like him capable of love? You are...a voice in my head whispers. WOAH! Hold on a second yea I liked Bella, but love? I had thought it myself that even the darkest of people were proven to be human through love. Then I realised it, I was falling for Bella...But I haven't even know her long! So? My mind asks. Love doesn't have a timer on it, they say love at first sight and all that shit don't they? My eyes go wide as the truth hits me, then dread just fills my body. You're heading for destruction Edward, she wouldn't love you even if she didn't love him. There is nothing about you worthy of love, so why are you still here? I was here because I promised her, I know what it's like when people you care about leave. I would never cause anyone that kind of pain so I knew I would stick around even if it killed me. I try and snap myself out of my mental dispute with myself and change the subject again.

"You look really tired...do you want me to leave so you can sleep?" Even though I didn't want to leave it's was really late and she needed to rest.

"No I don't want you to leave, can you stay with me for a while longer." She sounds almost childlike in her plea, and even if I wanted to I couldn't tell this girl no.

"Sure I'll stay, any Idea what you want to do?" I say and try not to think of all the things I would like to do to Bella alone in her room.

"I don't mind, anything will cheer me up right about now" she says and leans her head against the wall while still looking at me. I look around her room searching for inspiration and I get an idea. It's not my favourite book, but it is hers. Plus what I have planned with give me an excuse to be close to her. I stand up taking off my shoes and pulling my jumper over my head. I swear I hear a small moan escape her lips and my T-shirt rides up, showing off my stomach. When I look at her, her bottom lip is between her teeth and her eyes are glued to me. I smirk down at her and realise she finds me attractive, I cock my eye brow and tilt my head to the side.

"Wha...what are you doing Edward?" She whispers, only just managing to look up as she says it.

I walk over to her bookshelf and grab her battered copy of Wuthering heights between my fingers. I think walk over to her bed and pull the covers back. I place the book next to her on her bed and then climb in next to her.

"I'm going to read to you, if that is ok?" She nods her head and blinks a few times before kicking off her shoes. She stands awkwardly and walks over to her chest of draws and pulls out a pair of sweats.

"Um, excuse me for a moment I need to change." She says while eyeing the door like she doesn't know where to go. Trying to be funny I clamp my hand over my eyes and smile letting her know she can change. I hear her undo the zip on her jeans and I can't help myself. I make a tiny crack between my fingers and peak her at jumping around on one leg. I had to admit even I'd fallen over a few times taking skinny jeans off. I close the gap and let her dress in peace, If I see more my body will give me away. When I hear her clear her throat I remove my hand and look at her. She's standing there with her hair up in a messy pony tail, a tank top and sweats. Hey I thought girls were supposed to look bad in that stuff? Bella looked just as beautiful now, as she did earlier. She walks over the bed eyeing me, so I scotch over to make more room. I'm lying on top of the covers, not wanting to get too personal. She climbs under the covers and climbs into the crook of my arm. I think I hear her take a deep breath in, maybe this is too much for her? When she doesn't move I take it as a sign that I should continue so I open the book up and begin to read. I read about 12 chapters and my eyes are starting to feel heavy. When I glance down I realise Bella has fallen asleep on my chest. I'm not sure what to do, I place the book on the bedside table and start to get up. Bella whimpers in her sleep and mumbles something. When I try again she clutches my chest tighter and mumbles the same word again. This time I hear more clearly what she says.

"Stay" She sighs then pulling herself closer she sighs again before going silent. Who am I to argue with such a beautiful creature? I reach over turning off the lamp and try shuffling down to get more comfortable. I close my eyes listening to her light breathing and occasional sleep talking until I eventually fall asleep...


	6. Chapter 6

My eyes sting as I open them to mornings sun, it reflects off a mirror on the opposite side of the room. I'm wondering why my body feels so heavy, and then I remember. I have a small figure lying across my chest, arms and hair splayed out. She stirs on top of me and her eyes eventually crack open, her beautiful brown ones meeting mine. Her brow creases a fraction in confusion, and then last night seems to come back to her. I was waiting for her alarm that we had fall asleep together to kick in. But once her confusion passed she simply smiled, relaxed and let out a croaky "Hi"

"Morning beautiful" I say closing my eyes and laying my head back. I'm not very good in the morning and we didn't exactly sleep for very long. I lay there slowly waking up and my thoughts coming back to me. I think I should make Bella breakfast in bed, start get day off positive. But before I can move a thought crosses my mind.

"Are your parents home? Wont it look a little sketchy me being here?" I say with slight alarm in my voice; I don't want to get her in trouble.

"My mum and dad would have left for work by now. So you don't have to rush off, unless you want too. Sorry I didn't mean to keep you captive last night." She starts talking fast and faster as she goes on. I think now she has woken up she is getting embarrassed and flustered. Though she still doesn't lift her head off of my chest as she speaks which makes me feel better.

"I'm in no rush to leave, and I wanted to stay last night. You needed someone to be with you, and it made me feel good you wanted me to be the one to comfort you." I smile to myself over that little fact. And what makes me feel ever better is when she buries her face into my chest and says "I need you Edward, you make me feel better" I wrap my arms around her and hug her to me tighter than before. We lay like that for a few more minutes then I hear her stomach growl. I decide she needs breakfast so I use all the strength I have to get myself out of bed. She looks a little hurt when I turn to look at her.

"Are you leaving?" She says, her voice confirms her upset.

"No silly, I'm going to go make you some breakfast." I smile sitting on the edge of her bed. She sits up too and looks at me. "What did I do to deserve you Edward? Are you some fallen angel who will disappear soon?" I close my eyes and place my forehead against hers. "No Bella I am no angel, and I think you are a little confused or sleep deprived. It's what I did to deserve _you_" My heart is beating so fast I think it's going to jump right out my chest. I want to kiss her so badly and she hasn't pulled away yet. I don't know how long we sit there for but my phone buzzes bringing me out of my trance caused by Bella's sweet smell. I sigh and pull back and I could swear I hear Bella whimper a little in protest. It's just Jasper checking to make sure I'm still alive. We normally don't go this long without talking. I put my phone back into my pocket and turn back around to look at Bella.

"What would you like for breakfast? Tea is obviously a given, but what would you like to eat?" I say while standing up, trying to keep my distance. If I keep getting close my self control will soon cave and I may do something she regrets me doing.

"Tea please and some toast with butter. You are really sweet for doing this" I stand smiling down at her, god she is beautiful. I leave her sat on her bed and head downstairs. I walk straight through to her kitchen and fill the kettle. I take the bread out of the breadbin and walk over to the toaster. While everything is doing I take a second to think about last night.

Bella wanted me to stay and comfort her, she even let me sleep in her bed. Does she feel something for me? It feels like it, and if she doesn't can I stay and watch her be treated this way. Can I stand by and feel the pain of her being with someone else when I so desperately want to be with her? I don't know if I could bear the pain but I couldn't let her go either. She was too important to me and meant too much. If she did like me, would she leave Jacob? Or would she be too scared of what he would do in retaliation? I would protect her, if he ever tried hurting her. Before I can think too much about it the kettle goes off and the toast pops up. Good timing Edward, I stir the tea and let it brew while I butter the toast. Soon I carry her food upstairs on a small tray and lightly kick the door open with my toe. She is still sat on the bed, legs crossed and smiling up at me. That smile could cause wars, bring peace and break any man. I walk over, placing the tray on her bedside table. I pick up my tea, bringing it to my lips. She murmurs a thank you, but she sounds upset.

"What's wrong beautiful?" I said with worry and concern lacing my voice.

"I need to end things with Jacob but I'm not sure how to" This news both excites me and worries me. I'm scared for her, Jacob doesn't seem above lashing out when he hears what she says. So this makes me fear she will hurt her, and I can't let that happen.

"Can I ask why you want to end things? Don't get me wrong I think you need to. You can do so much better than him and you deserve to be treated better. I'm just curious" I say looking her straight in the eye. She looks so sad, like she is going to cry.

"Hey hey beautiful don't you cry" I wipe my thumb under her eye catching her tears before they fall. I gently grab her hands and pull her to stand just at the side of the bed. I bend my knees and hug her round her waist. I pull her to me and bury my face in her hair. I try make soothing noises and just hold her. "You don't have to tell me, I didn't mean to upset you I'm sorry"

"No you haven't upset me" She sobs into my shoulder "I'm so embarrassed at myself that I fell for his lies. That I've put myself through this again and I'm happy and sad and embarrassed." She continues to sob while I try soothing her. But after a while she stops and pulls her head back. She stares at me dead in the eyes, I can't move I'm like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Can I ask you something Edward?" She says without breaking eye contact. I nod because I'm not sure I could find my voice if I tried.

"How do you feel about me? In all honesty?" She stares at me waiting for my answer. I'm not sure what to say. Do I tell her how I truly feel? What if she tells me to leave because she doesn't want to have some guy hung up on her following her around? But what if by some miracle she likes me back? Is it worth the rejection? So many questions rolling around in my head. My mouth doesn't seem to want to work, but my body takes over. My hands are still on her hips from our hug, so I pull her a little closer. I tighten my grip on her hips and wait for her response. She looks at my hands and takes her bottom lip between her teeth. Her gaze slowly moves up to mine but then moves back down to my lips. I know in that second what I'm going to do and it will be worth it.

"You Bella, are everything to me. I want to be the one you choose, the one to treat you right." I would have said more but before I can finish Bella's mouth is on mine. She kisses me hard and urgently, fisting her hands in my hair. Once my mind catches up to what is happening I moan and grab hold of her thighs picking up and wrapping her legs around me. With my hands on her bum I hoist her up and use my free hand cradle her fast. I start walking forwards and soon my shins are touching the bed. Bella's mouth is everywhere, on my neck, jaw, lips and ears. We are both moaning loudly and a small voice in the back of my head thanks god her parents aren't home. I lower her onto the bed but keep her legs wrapped round me. I then go to work, biting and nibbling her neck and ears. Her hands dig hungrily into my back, pulling me closer to her. I can't get enough of her, I'm like a man who has been starved for weeks and now been shown a banquet. So many things I want to do, but what to do first? I move my mouth back up to her lips, earning a moan from her as I take her bottom lip between my teeth. One hand on her thigh and the other now fisted into her hair.

"Mmmmm Edward" She moans out, then bites me shoulder.

"What do you want baby? What do you want me to do?" I purr in her ear, then bite onto it.

"Undress me and touch me" She says and begins to pull my shirt over my head.

"Gladly" I pull her up to we are both kneeling, face to face. I help her take off my T-shirt and hers quickly follows. I lay her back down, kissing down her throat on along her collar. I stop at her perfect boobs and start kissing. I pull her bra down to expose her nipple and quickly clamp my mouth onto it. I use my left hand to massage her right breast, and run my thumb over her hard nipple. I switch over, repeating the motion until her back is arched. I then carry on my journey down to the waistband of her jeans. Her hands are in my hand and I can't help but laugh to myself.

"Something funny?" She smiles down and me worshiping her body.

"Just last night I was having to close my eyes while you changed." I smile to myself

I run my arm along her waist and up over her ribs and the swell of her breasts. I then trail my hand down her arm and lace my fingers with hers. My mind is now racing and thinking about what we are actually going to do. I want this so bad, but I don't want it to be in reaction to that prick. I trailer kisses back up her stomach and then finish at her lips. We aren't as urgent now, I think we have both realise we shouldn't do this.

"Bella, I want this, my god do I want this. I just think maybe we should wait until you're not with Jacob. I know you, you would feel guilty even if he is a total dickhead." I murmur while playing with our laced fingers.

"I think you're right, Edward. Look I know I was rude and interrupted you before but I've liked you since we met. And you are the one I want to be with. I know you will treat me right and I can be myself around you. I want to be with you, but we shouldn't do this now" She sounds sad over the last fact. I smile to myself and hug her to my chest. We lay there for a while, while our breathing returns to normal. I stroke small circles into her back and occasionally kiss the top of her head. Once we are together and I know we can be together properly I may never leave this room. All I need is right here, in my arms in this moment. Normally when I feel so strongly about it I play my guitar. Ok that is one thing I would change. I would bring my guitar round here, so I could sing to her. But then inspiration strikes me, it's a long shot but I try anyway.

"Bella did you say you had a guitar? When we spoke about me singing for you?"

"I have an acoustic guitar in that cupboard over there" She said pointing to the door next to her bookshelf. I stand up and walk over and open the door. I still have no T-shirt on but I really couldn't care less. I reach into the cupboard and grab the neck of the guitar and pull it out carefully. I strum experimentally seeing if it's in tune, and to my surprise it isn't too bad. I pull up her desk chair and sit myself down, adjusting the tuning to what I want to play. This has gotten Bella curious and she sits up in bed with a confused look.

"You wanted me to play for you right?" She nods "This song was in my head and realised it matched us fairly well. So I thought I would sing it to you, if you like?" She nods again looking like an eager child. I finally finish tuning the guitar and take a last sip of tea which is now luke warm. I take a second to gather my courage then I start to strum. I look down at the guitar but just before I start to sing I look up and look into her beautiful eyes.

Four letter word

But I don't have the guts to say it

Smile 'til it hurts

Let's not make it complicated

We've got a story

And I'm about to change the ending

You're perfect for me

And more than just a friend

So we can just stop pretending now

Gotta let you know somehow

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

We used to say

That we would always stick together

But who's to say

That we could never last forever

Girl, got a question

Could you see yourself with somebody else?

'Cause I'm on a mission

And I don't wanna share

I want you all to myself right now

I just wanna scream it out

I'll be your shelter

I'll be your storm

I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

No matter what you do, yeah,

Oh, I'll be there for you

And every time you close your eyes

I will be by your side

'Cause every time you make me sing

Baby I will be your everything

I'll be our shelter

I'll be your storm

But I'll make you shiver

I'll keep you warm

Whatever weather

Baby I'm yours

Be your forever, be your fling

Baby I will be your

Baby I

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

Baby

Baby I will

I'll be your storm

Baby I will be your everything

Baby I

Yeah, yeah

Baby I will

Baby I will be your everything

Soon my strumming finally fades out and comes to a stop. I slowly place the guitar to one side, leaning it against her desk and bringing the chair forward. She sits with tears in her eyes and some already falling down her cheeks. I used my thumb to wipe away the tears once again but don't speak. Though wanting to know I meant what I sang I slowly lean in and softly brush my lips against hers. I kiss along to her ear and skim my nose against the shell of her ear. Thinking I had gone this far today I may as well go the whole way. I take a deep breath and whisper "I love you Bella."


End file.
